Ladies and gentlemen, devoted henchmen and maniacal
fans,
Psychosis Magazine
and it's Parent company, PsychotiCorp, is pleased to
announce the appointment of Morris Mahoof to the
position of Editor. Morris, or Moe, will be
replacing Bob Craypoe. Bob Craypoe is still an
employee of
PsychotiCorp but only works as the Primary web
developer for PsychotiCorp. We feel that Bob was
becoming entirely too outspoken to remain in the
position of Editor. We believe that he should be
much easier to suppress if confined to his new position
and forced to work in the boiler room with no access to
restroom facilities or drinkable water. Sleep
deprivation may also aid in adjusting his attitude.
Please don't be
alarmed or concerned regarding the health, safety or
mental stability of Bob. Bob has become accustomed
to working for low wages, in terrible working conditions
and with very little appreciation or acknowledgement
from his employers. In other words, he's worked in
the retail, manufacturing and insurance industries.
Moe Mahoof has been
with the Magazine since the creation of it. He
started out as the cover model for the magazine and
worked in the mail room. We felt it was important
to promote from within. Especially since people
from outside of the company wouldn't dream of working
for what we pay our employees. Moe has been
greatly blessed with the wisdom of not only knowing how
much butt to kiss but also knowing the right ones to
kiss. We also believe that the best policy would
be to promote the stupidest individual to the primary
position of authority in order to keep in line with
corporate America's standard operating procedures.
We promise that there will be no degradation in the
quality of our publication. It will suck every bit
as much as it has in the past. Thank you, and have
a wonderful day. |
|
