Dear devoted fans,
Psychosis Magazine,
is pleased to announce its' newly revised mission
statement. Remember the good old days when
neighbor used to help neighbor? Or when you could
leave your house without locking the door? How
about a time in America when hard work was valued and
everybody tried to do the best darn job they could?
Gosh, I sure do miss those days. Wouldn't it be
swell if we could just bring things right back to where
they once were? Golly gee, that sure would be
neat. Notice the lovely peach color of this page.
Wouldn't it be neat if everything was just as peachy?
I think so.
So anyway folks,
let me tell you about the many wonderful things we plan
on doing with this wonderful magazine. Stuff that
will make you just sit up in your chair and say: "Gosh,
this sure is going to be swell!" First we're going
to adorn the edges of our cover with a lovely frilly
lace that will allow the magazine to also double as a
doily. Isn't that a neat idea? I thought of
it myself. Then we are going to allow
manufacturers of feminine hygiene products to advertise
in our magazine for free, just for the feminine touch.
Then we're going to do a 4-page spread on this years
all-gay day at Disney World. I thought you'd like
that. We felt that the old magazine wasn't nearly
enough in touch with it's feminine side. We hope
to change that.
Sorry, but we had to stop this guy!
He will return after some reprogramming. Forgive
us for the inconvenience. |
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